Girls wellness project

Having an eating disorder in a social environment makes it much harder. Your brain is constantly thinking about different ways it can work around eating while making sure no one around you becomes suspicious. Often times it’s easier to hide it from friends, since you don’t live with them. They really are only exposed to a small part of your life, and they may feel uncomfortable making assumptions. But, with family, they see everything you do. They are constantly watching you and are by you for most meals. Therefore, your family notices when you begin skipping meals or picking at food. Your family is composed of the people in life who most likely care about you the most. If there is one thing i realized, it’s that my family isn’t there to compete with me, but they are there to help me. They continued to address their concerns because they love me, not because they are “jealous” of me. When you are anorexic, nobody is jealous of you, except your eating disorder. Your eating disorder is going to continue to try and convince you that everyone is out to get you. It’s going to tell you that your body is wanted by others, and that they are just jealous. This voice continues to tell you that people are trying to sabotage you, but that could not be further from the truth. Your eating disorder feels threatened when it’s faced with the truth. That’s why it will do anything it can to defend itself, even convincing you that your own family is against you. An entry states:

“Sometimes I feel that I disappoint my parents if I don’t eat, so I do and I feel great, but then a couple hours later I regret it. I mostly have worries about gaining weight.”

Your parents are going to do anything they can to protect your health and happiness. The disappointment you feel comes from a place of heart. It’s the part of your brain that is free from your eating disorder. This part of your brain knows the truth. It’s not afraid to tell you that what you are doing is wrong. It knows better than your eating disorder, but isn’t strong enough to overcome it. Focus on feeding the healthy part of your brain. Use those thoughts as anger towards your eating disorder. Your love for your life and your parents is far stronger than your eating disorder is. Continuing to feed yourself will kill off the eating disorder, and slowly you will feel even more connected to your family. Your life will become so much more enjoyable and happy when your body has the proper nutrients to live. Being scared to gain weight is something that has been embedded in western culture, as people immediately think weight gain means they will become overweight, or “fat”. The best way to approach this mindset is by remembering that food is NOT going to make you gain too much weight for your body. Food is a source of energy. Every time you have thoughts about the calories in your food, remind yourself that calories are meant to represent the amount of energy the food contains. High calorie foods are simply high in energy. The more energy, the more we can move and feel happy in our bodies! Without energy, we are nothing. High calorie foods shouldn’t be avoided, instead, they can be enjoyed in healthy portions that benefit our nutrition. For example, if i eat more food that is higher calorie before a run, then i will have so much energy and power to support my body. My body will be happy to run and use the power it was given. This doesn’t only apply when exercising of course, but also on the day to day basis. Just your brain alone needs around 400 calories per day to function! Imagine all the different body parts where this energy is being distributed. Our bodies are composed of hundreds or organelle that need calories and energy to function. So, next time you feel bad about eating, remind yourself that this food is a source of energy, not a way to become “fat”. Also, it’s very common in recovery that you gain weight. But you have to remember that weight gain from eating normal is a sign that the weight should have never been lost to begin with. While it’s hard to realize, our bodies all have a “set” weight that our DNA decides for us. Eating properly will keep us at the weight we are meant to be. The scale has no information about you. It has no idea how much weight is from water, muscle, etc. Just because the scale number increases, does NOT mean you are only gaining fat. In fact, fat takes quite a long time to be produced and stored in our bodies, as it is used long term to survive. So, keep in mind, your gaining weight because you never meant to loose it in the first place.