Girls wellness project

Dealing with an ED at school can be extremely difficult. The thoughts criculate your mind continuously throughout the day, making it hard to focus on education. Receiving comments from other students can make it especially difficult because often times people say things that reflect their own insecurities. People who comment negative things continuously only do it to receive internal validation. It’s their mind’s way of projecting their thoughts onto the people around them to help them feel less isolated. If someone is continuously commenting on the way you look, it shows that they feel threatened by something that you have. This doesn’t have to be about your physical appearance, but it could be something like your confidence or energy. People giving unwanted feedback often are jealous of the energy you radiate because they wish they had the same. Jealousy is huge in high school especially, because every aspect of it has to be made a competition. When someone feels like they are losing, they cope with it by trying to bring you down to their level. Imagine a rock climbing competition. Two people racing to see who can get to the top first. As soon as their opponent gets ahead, their brains initial reaction isn’t to push themselves to do better, but instead to knock the other person down. In that moment, they realize that it’s way easier to bring the person down to their level, rather than climbing to theirs. Therefore, they tug on their foot, and their opponent now is down several levels. This same concept applies to the way people speak to you. Another thing to remember in these situations, is that everyone has something going on in their lives that they tend to not share. While their lives may seem picture perfect on the outside, usually they have something they are dealing with which affects the way they react in certain situations. They are surrounded by negative energy, impacting their mood and attitude. Of course nothing justifies someone’s wrong behaviors, but it helps to keep in mind that what they are saying is most likely coming from a place of internal conflict, and that it doesn’t actually have anything to do with you. Now, what about comments specific to my body and the way I look. A new submission states:

“I have always felt insecure on how I look because of comments at school, and many people to say to ignore it, but it gets annoying by hearing the same stuff over and over.”

We discussed where these comments are originating from, but what about different people that may be spreading them. Like, boys for example. Boys, especially early on in high school, have zero sense of maturity. It takes a lot for a boy to realize what is coming out of their mouth, especially when it’s a comment about a girl. No matter how much you try to change yourself to validate other people’s comments, they will never EVER change. No matter how skinny you are, how toned you become, how much you eat or workout; people will ALWAYS have something to say. When i was at my lowest and most unhealthy weight, i still had people talking about the way my body looked. There is never ever going to be a way to make every single person happy and make everyone think highly of you. It’s simply impossible. Therefore, the only thing you can do is make yourself happy. Focus on your goals, and who you strive to be. The more you focus on your own life, and how to be the best and healthiest version of yourself, the more happy you will become. Your mind will naturally shift and start to prioritize its own thoughts and health more than other peoples. When you have an eating disorder, you are underfed and aren’t receiving the proper nutrition that your brain needs to function. Your eating disorder begins to grow while your brain shrinks. Your brain physically isn’t receiving enough energy to fight the war against you ED. So, recovering and focusing on your nutrition and maintaining internal balance is the best thing you can do for yourself. Your brain will begin to grow healthy and positive thoughts will start to circulate. Your eating disorder over time WILL shrink. (Ik hard to believe in the moment, but trust me, it is true). The recovery journey is difficult and i will never claim it is easy, because that is far from the truth. But it becomes easier the more you commit to yourself and your health. While the process is slow, quitting will not speed it up.